I'm STILL a self confessing, self professing know-it-all, or so I think!

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Woodbine Racetrack 1994!!

Not quite there yet, but getting ready (me and my boxy Boss double breasted shit that I had going on … haha) and heading out the door for The Rothmans International. At least that’s what it was called at the time, Canada’s annual premier turf race, won by many, many, great horses such as Dahlia, and the greatest horse of them all Secretariat!! This year’s running went to a good, but not necessarily a great horse … Raintrap. But he did manage to do something, something remarkable all others before, and after, have failed to duplicate, let alone surpassĀ  … to say he hauled motherfucking thoroughbred ass would be an understatement!! In winning, he registered the quickest clocking ever for the mile and a half distance of the race!!

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Victoria Day Weekend!!

Waiting for family and friends to arrive. Boy do I ever look fucking excited, eh? Lindsay Lohan’s mugshots are a fucking party compared to this!! You know what it is, when I have to look into a camera, I get all tense and extremely serious. For me, it’sĀ  a fucking reflex. I’m much better at candid, natural shots, being all relaxed … but apparently nobody ever seems to be taking those. It’s like, stand there and I will take your picture. So fucking contrived … and for me so fucking robotic!! Sorry, it’s all I got though!!

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My new backup BBQ!!

So, you all know how I had this obsession with my homemade hibachi, for use in all the months and time of year sans the summer. That time of year is reserved and allocated for my beloved Weber!! So, the other day I was leafing through all my flyers that I get every week in my newspapers and I came across this ad for a portable charcoal grill … almost like a ‘Smokey Joe’ from Weber. And let’s not kid ourselves, it ain’t up to Weber snuff and quality, but Goddamn it was on sale for $19. What the fuck can you get for nineteen bucks today? Not too motherfucking much!! Oh, and it was a Walmart ad … of all the fucking places … Walmart. Now, I seldom set foot inside this self-righteous holy-roller establishment (last time I did, I questioned an employee as to why the CD section conveniently and purposely omitted ‘Tool’ from their selection. She calmly and politely informed me that they were ‘a family store’ … I calmly and politely inquired ‘if they thought they were God?’ )!! See, this is why I HATE places like this, not to mention their marketing tactics that I see right through, that others appear to be oblivious to, because they continue to go and shop … while I don’t!! Anyways, I capitulated, I succumbed, and I purchased!! Take a motherfucking gander y’all!!

In the backyard, surrounded by splendour … now that’s just fucking showing off, eh?

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Slap Happy Lappi Cheese and Mushroom Burger!!

That’s what I call it … my latest creation. Lappi cheese is the star here. The cheese lady steered me towards it. I was looking at the Muenster, but Goddamn that is so expensive, and there are other choices that are similar, which I love too, but are much cheaper. Hey, who’s kidding who? All these cheeses are pricey, even the Lappi. After sampling it, I was really happy with the velvety soft texture and mild taste! The meat is a chuck roast, that I had ground right before my eyes to ensure freshness. It’s one and a half kilos … or 1500 grams. That’s almost three and a third pounds for all the pecker-headed numb-skulls out there!! Preferably, I like to combine this with sirloin roast, as this gives the perfect flavour, but I didn’t need that much meat and the result is almost the same.

Check out the beautiful colour!! And the almost perfect 80-20 meat to fat ratio … VERY IMPORTANT!! This amount of meat is good for about 8-10 burgers, depending on the size you want. I made 9 this time, and they were nicely portioned … about 6 ounces. Long gone are the good old days when I used to make dozen-ouncers!! After forming them into patties, with the charcoal grill a-blazing I slather them with refrigerated, strained bacon fat (pictured below) that I allowed to come up to room temperature (this just makes the slathering process much easier). If I don’t have the bacon drippings, which more often than not, I don’t … I’ll use room temperature butter … this works just as well, but without the bacon flavour. Now, the $64000 question … why? Well, be patient and pay attention motherfuckers. It’s because this tremendously aids and accentuates the char crust formation that I so love and crave on my wood grilled burgers!! Simple, there you have it … I’m giving away all my secrets here!

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Great Place!!

Went here about a week ago! It’s the old Mr. Greek restaurant on the Danforth (at Carlaw). What a great place the original was. I mean that was the fucking place!! … I remember going there at least twice a week, late night partying back in the early ’90s. The new place is good too, but now in the afternoon, for me at least anyways!! Hey check out the coolest motherfucking patio umbrellas of all time!! Pilsner Urquell … woohoo!!

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Breed and Breathe!!

That was done purposely, not randomly. I’m sure most of you dopey dumb-fucks didn’t get that wordplay. Fuck, I’m willing to bet that many of you still don’t!! Whatever, wanted to clarify my thoughts. I’m much deeper and more complex than you motherfuckers think … there is a rhyme to my reason, a method to my motherfucking madness!!

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Go Habs Go!!

Man this was my team growing up … the red, white, and blue … the Montreal motherfucking Canadiens!! Guy Lafleur was a fucking God!! Steve Shutt with his 60 goals for a left winger was insane. Loved Pierre Mondou, Dougie Jarvis and Bob Gainey too. Oh, and Yvan ‘The Roadrunner’ Cournoyer. Goddamn, what a great motherfucking moniker!! Fuck, was he fast!! They won 4 consecutive Cups in the ’70’s and with their playoff hopes still alive, trying to add to the legacy, I thought it would be great to reminisce and cheer on this year’s version. They still, and will continue to have a place close to my heart!!