I'm STILL a self confessing, self professing know-it-all, or so I think!

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“it’ll be the funniest post ever” – Tiffany K.

And ’cause it ain’t is why I did, lol!! Left me a reminder note (hate those btw) to mow the lawn a final time … was busy, and not in the mood so I quickly jettisoned it into the trash can. ‘Sides her blades of grass looked like shark fins, lol. Woke up this morning to a much better one … notice the green ink … nice touch Tiff, lol!!

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Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub cockle area
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon, we don’t know

I’m just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I’m your average white, suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone else’s expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat

I walk around in the summer time saying “how about this heat?”

Sometimes I park in handicap spaces
While handicapped people make handicap faces

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)

You know what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal lions for head lights (yeah)
And I’m gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin’ 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald’s
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when I’m done sucking down those greeseball burgers
I’m gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I’m gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain’t a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why? because we’ve got the bombs, that’s why
Two words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it won’t make a lick of difference
Because we’ve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne’s not dead, he’s frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
We’re gonna thaw out The Duke and he’s gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
That’s how pissed off The Duke’s gonna be
I’m gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes
and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey, and drive down to Texas …

I’m an asshole and I’m proud of it

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He’s a tear in your eye

He’ll be the love in your eyes
He’ll be the blood between your thighs
And then have you crying for more
He’ll put strength to the test
He’ll put the thrill back in bed
Sure you’ve heard it all before
He’ll be the risk in the kiss
Might be anger on your lips
Might run scared for the door
But in seasons of wither
We’ll stand and deliver
Be strong and laugh and …

He\’ll be the love between your thighs

He’s the wolf screaming lonely in the night
He’s the blood stain on the stage
He’s the tear in your eye
Being tempted by his lies
He’s the knife in your back
He’s rage
Well he’s a razor to the knife
Oh, lonely is our lives
My head’s spinnin’ round and round
But in the seasons of wither
We’ll stand and deliver
Be strong and laugh and …

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“I repudiate pencils” – danistrulytheman

Shun ’em … can’t stand ’em!! Never was a fan, prefer pens … but seems like common sense for a puzzle player to be friends with the pencil?! Not I, and maybe a wee bit has to do with my arrogance and contempt (yes ME … and said maybe y’all, lol) in solving puzzles … and I’m talking about my fave KENKEN … my preference: the 36 grid game (challenging version). The last one had me mentally focused and concentrating with my ball point firmly held in hand, ready to pounce … and even though it was a doozy to solve, did!! At times not so simple, but always … and inevitably only a matter of danistrulytheman time!! Ink you KK!! 😉

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Sobey’s-Wan Kenobi!!

Bought a shitload of these beauties at my fave Sobey’s *eyes rolling* yesterday … air-chilled chicken wings!! Prompted by promising weather … figured why not one-last-kick-at-the-bbq-can?? Grilled ’em & glazed ’em with hot buffalo wing sauce!! Served with thinly sliced crusty bread and my home-made (secret recipe btw, lol … shhhhhh) blue cheese sauce … and LOTSA beer … let me vehemently say … life don’t get NO better!! 😉

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does an angel contemplate my fate?

so when I’m lying in my bed
thoughts running through my head
and I feel that love is dead

and through it all she offers me protection a lot of love and affection

whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life won’t break me
when I come to call she won’t forsake me
I’m loving angels instead

when I’m feeling weak
and my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
and I know I’ll always be blessed with love
and as the feeling grows
she breathes flesh to my bones
and when love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

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The Doukhobors of Brilliant

I know it’s a  s t r e t c h  but it’s my adaptation of The Dukes of Hazzard … hey, least I try motherfuckers, lol!! I remember a few of the faces, mostly I remember how much I hated going to these type of things!! I was a kid who wanted to ride my bike, throw rocks, kick a ball, run and play with my friends … anything that involved physical activity, anything that didn’t involve sedate cultural learning activities. I also remember being forced to go to many … and believe me, they seemed to drag on all day long!! Forty plus years later I’m so thankful and appreciative (understanding too, lol) that I was … I look back with fondness and smile … it’s part of me, who I am … my heritage!! Unfortunately, I reduced the image size, scaled it to fit into my blog (sorry, had no choice) … and ain’t saying which one’s me, thank God I don’t look dorky (unlike so many others), but I will say that I’m looking right through the lens, showing my contempt for the whole Goddamn ceremony … it’s as if I’m saying, “Jesus Christ!! … what the fuck am I doing here?!”, LOL!! Thankfully Dad wrote the info on the back of the photo, not so many thanks to his butchering my hair (lol, not really … did a great job, just back then didn’t think he did, lol) … ooohh reminds me – Bonus story: I was getting a bit older probably close to 10 years old … even then was beginning to show my independence, my defiance … no longer wanted him shearing my lovely locks … one day danistrulytheboy walked his ass miles and miles into town (and back) to get a real haircut, from a barber *eyes rolling* … take that “old-man”, LOL!!

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another one!!

… restaurant outing I mean, and burgers again, lol!! Let me set the record straight, when I (we … dare I speak for the deuce? … lol) go to these type of chain restaurants … inevitably choose burgers (or sandwiches), find that there’s less chance of them fucking it up, and less disappointment for me … the paying customer. I don’t even look at their pasta dishes, NEVER in a million years would ever lower myself (would be blasphemous), so I’d don’t bother. I make WAY better paesano cucina, and would ONLY order pasta from an authentic Italian restaurant (non-chain) … steak is a good option/choice and would definitely consider it, but I’d prefer it being from a legitimately dedicated steakhouse, such as The Keg. Dinner at Milestones is a no-brainer for me, don’t even waste my time perusing the menu … Kobe Meatloaf!! Ok ok, too much yapping … here’s the pics, lol!!

Beer and Bellini (Tuesday, lol) …

Mine (Cheddar & Bacon + sautéed ‘shrooms) …

Hers … Tiffany K.’s (Bronx Burger … onion rings? … YEAH, fucking great) …

The bill (included of course … been getting too much shit lately omitting it) 😉 …

The bottom line: It’s unanimous … the best burgers we’ve ever had from these joints!! And the biggest as well, these bad boys were half pounders … lotsa food, great value, great night … cheers motherfuckers!!

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Frankel Undefeated!!

With his victory in the Queen Elizabeth II Stakes at Ascot on Saturday, a four length trouncing over horses who were Group 1 winners in their previous races, superhorse Frankel remains undefeated and will now rest for the remainder of the year … but thankfully returning to the racecourse in 2012 to start his highly anticipated campaign as a 4 year old!! Here’s the vid for the QEII

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well well, lookie what the pussy dragged in

WOW!! And that’s a motherfucking understatement, lol!! And not a moment too soon I’m not ashamed to admit!! We were on the verge of collapse without ya … was gonna chuck up the sponge, but with you back for round 2, plan on sticking around a wee bit longer!!

welcome back welcome back welcome back

… and yes, annual appreciation drunken debauchery orgy filled party is still on, lol 😉

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turkey sausage pasta

Spicy turkey sausage … was on sale at Fortinos. Tiffany K. loved the healthier choice idea … figured why not? Plus Black Label PC products were recently introduced into the Loblaws markets. And while I ordinarily eschew jarred sauces, lazydan wasn’t in the mood to work, was in the mood to give it a go … surprisingly was very good … so good gonna try the Puttanesca (something to do with a whore, hells yeah I’m trying it, lol) pasta sauce next!! Here’s 2 pics … enjoy!!


iGive & iGive

Good news: picked this up yesterday on the very first day they went on sale … the new iPhone 4S!! Snapped this pic (with MY iPhone 4) right as phone-dude was finalizing the sale!!

Bad news: it ain’t mine 😦 … Tiffany K. was the recipient … Lucky iDuck … and white too, as requested, lol!!

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I shot my load today

Would you cry for me?
I lost my head again, would you lie for me?

Follow me into the desert
As thirsty as you are
Crack a smile and cut your mouth
And drown in alcohol
Cause down below the truth is lying
Beneath the riverbed
So quench yourself and drink the water
That flows below her head

Oh no there she goes

Close your eyes and bow your head
I need a little sympathy
Fear is strong and love’s for everyone
Who isn’t me
Kill your health and kill yourself
And kill everything you love
And if you live you can fall to pieces
And suffer with my ghost
Just a burden in my hand
Just an anchor on my heart
Just a tumor in my head
And I’m in the dark

So follow me into the desert
As desperate as you are
Where the moon is glued to a picture of heaven
And all the little pigs have God


talkin’ turkey

Said it before, I’ll say it again … when it comes to spendin’ & savin’ ain’t no better way OR reason than on a turkey. Ninety-three dollars … you fucking shittin’ me? Save that coin fellas, spend it on yer honey … pretty sure she’d appreciate it, and pretty sure she’d show her appreciation too, lol!! 😉

THE WRONG WAY: ma jaw dropped when I saw this, still kept my composure and snapped this pic … danistrulythesmoothman, LOL!!

THE RIGHT WAY: Bought this beauty a few days ago, now that’s the way to go motherfuckers, granted the pricier one is 1kg bigger, mine at almost 15 lbs. is plenty big enough to feed my army … my troops, lol!!