I'm STILL a self confessing, self professing know-it-all, or so I think!

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“it’ll be the funniest post ever” – Tiffany K.

And ’cause it ain’t is why I did, lol!! Left me a reminder note (hate those btw) to mow the lawn a final time … was busy, and not in the mood so I quickly jettisoned it into the trash can. ‘Sides her blades of grass looked like shark fins, lol. Woke up this morning to a much better one … notice the green ink … nice touch Tiff, lol!!

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Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles
Maybe in the sub cockle area
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys
Maybe even in the colon, we don’t know

I’m just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I’m your average white, suburbanite slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone else’s expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat

I walk around in the summer time saying “how about this heat?”

Sometimes I park in handicap spaces
While handicapped people make handicap faces

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)

You know what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal lions for head lights (yeah)
And I’m gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin’ 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonald’s
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when I’m done sucking down those greeseball burgers
I’m gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then I’m gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain’t a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why? because we’ve got the bombs, that’s why
Two words, nuclear fucking weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square and it won’t make a lick of difference
Because we’ve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne’s not dead, he’s frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
We’re gonna thaw out The Duke and he’s gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
That’s how pissed off The Duke’s gonna be
I’m gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes
and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey, and drive down to Texas …

I’m an asshole and I’m proud of it

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He’s a tear in your eye

He’ll be the love in your eyes
He’ll be the blood between your thighs
And then have you crying for more
He’ll put strength to the test
He’ll put the thrill back in bed
Sure you’ve heard it all before
He’ll be the risk in the kiss
Might be anger on your lips
Might run scared for the door
But in seasons of wither
We’ll stand and deliver
Be strong and laugh and …

He\’ll be the love between your thighs

He’s the wolf screaming lonely in the night
He’s the blood stain on the stage
He’s the tear in your eye
Being tempted by his lies
He’s the knife in your back
He’s rage
Well he’s a razor to the knife
Oh, lonely is our lives
My head’s spinnin’ round and round
But in the seasons of wither
We’ll stand and deliver
Be strong and laugh and …

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“I repudiate pencils” – danistrulytheman

Shun ’em … can’t stand ’em!! Never was a fan, prefer pens … but seems like common sense for a puzzle player to be friends with the pencil?! Not I, and maybe a wee bit has to do with my arrogance and contempt (yes ME … and said maybe y’all, lol) in solving puzzles … and I’m talking about my fave KENKEN … my preference: the 36 grid game (challenging version). The last one had me mentally focused and concentrating with my ball point firmly held in hand, ready to pounce … and even though it was a doozy to solve, did!! At times not so simple, but always … and inevitably only a matter of danistrulytheman time!! Ink you KK!! 😉